The Beast which is in me
by Broceliande
Summary: Shalimar is behaving strangely...
1. The Beast which is in me

The beast which is in me  
  
by Brocéliande  
  
Summary: Shalimar is behaving strangely.  
  
R _ Romance Shalimar / Brennan  
  
X X X  
  
Viens mon beau chat, sur mon c?ur amoureux ; Come my beautiful cat, on my loving heart; Retiens les griffes de ta patte, Hold the claws of your paw, Et laisse-moi plonger dans tes beaux yeux, And let me plunge into your beautiful eyes, Mêlés de métal et d'agate. Mixed by metal and by agate.  
  
C. Baudelaire _ Les Fleurs du Mal _ XXXVI Le Chat C Baudelaire _ The Flowers of the Evil _ XXXVI The Cat  
  
Shalimar paced the corridors noiselessly, her bare feet light on the ground with the thoughtlessness of the feline. She stopped in front of a door, which she opened discreetly. She approached the silhouette lying on the bed, and took her place above it. She bent then to place a kiss on his lips.  
  
Brennan woke up slowly. A sweet shiver ran through his body. Suddenly he became aware of the warm and wet lips which played with his. Invaded by a sweet torpor, he answered the kiss of this sensual mouth. When it moved away, he decided to open eyes. In the twilight of his room he discovered Shalimar's face tilted above him.  
  
- Shalimar? He wondered, expecting to find himself dreaming.  
  
- Shht! She murmured, putting her fingers to his lips.  
  
The contact of her fingers on his face made him aware that he was not dreaming. But he had no time to reflect more about the situation, as Shalimar stood up to rip off her tank top, which she threw to floor near the bed.  
  
Brennan paused one moment to contemplate with desire the scrap of red lace which stole in his eyes to the bosoms of the young lady, before reprimanding this thought because Shalimar was the young lady in question.  
  
The young lady was, for her part, by no means hampered by her thoughts or acts, because already she was covering the bare chest of her companion with small kisses. Reacting as quickly as his brain, muddled up by its senses allowed him, Brennan pushed the young lady away, friendly but firmly.  
  
- Shalimar, I do not think this is a very good idea, he managed to articulate.  
  
- Then stop thinking! She answered him in an authoritarian tone.  
  
- Usually I have nothing against something like this, but there I .  
  
He had not been able to argue more because Shalimar had caught his mouth in a new kiss, nibbling his lip. Using the last plot of land in his brain still in a state to think, he again pushed away the young lady. It is then that he saw a yellow light cross the brown pupils of her eyes and he understood that he had no chance. Indeed the feral immobilized him, his arms trapped to the sides of his body, before pressing with all her weight on his body. Her kisses became wilder, rougher.  
  
Conscious that Shalimar was not herself any more, he tried to resist, but bit by bit his body reacted. As he relaxed under the kisses and the caresses of the young lady, he felt the pressure of her fingers loosening on his wrists. When he was finally free he no longer tried to push her away, on the contrary he pulled her closer to him, returning caress for caress, kiss for kiss.  
  
Shalimar's body bent now under his hands. She threw herself backwards, dragging him with her, clinging on to his neck as a drowned person to a buoy. Their position was inverted, it was in his turn to his lips over the neck then the throat of the young lady. He pushed aside the straps of her bra and came down bit by bit towards her breast. The nails of his partner sank into his back, leaving their imprints in his flesh. He continued then the investigation of her body with his tongue.  
  
Sudden Shalimar pushed him away violently against the mattress. Thinking that once again she wanted to resume their embrace he began to do so. But instead, Shalimar jumped up out of the bed. Quickly collecting her tank top, she put it back on and moved back to put the most possible distance between her and Brennan.  
  
- Shalimar, what's going on? Asked Brennan, surprised by this sudden turnover.  
  
- I am sorry, she stammered before leaving the room hurriedly.  
  
Forbidden, he was incapable of the slightest movement.  
  
Shalimar stopped running only once in her own room. As soon as she had locked the door, she quickly undressed and went in to the bathroom to take a shower. She let the cold water pour along her body, still feverish from the caresses and kisses of Brennan, until she can recollect her thoughts  
  
- Oh my god! She murmured finally. It begins again!  
  
X X X  
  
Lorsque mes doigts caressent à loisir When my fingers caress at leisure Ta tête et ton dos élastique, Your head and your elasticated back, Et que ma main s'enivre du plaisir And what my hand gets drunk on the pleasure De palper ton corps électrique, To feel your electric body,  
  
C. Baudelaire _ Les Fleurs du Mal _ XXXVI Le Chat C Baudelaire _ The Flowers of the Evil _ XXXVI The Cat  
  
When Brennan entered the kitchen the following morning, he had not had a lot of sleep. After Shalimar's hasty departure, he had wondered one moment if he had not simply dreamed what had taken place; but the scent of the young lady still floated in the atmosphere of his room, just as the heat of her lips lingered on his. He had hesitated for a time whether or not to go and speak to her, but when he had finally decided, he had found nobody. Her room was empty and her bed had not been slept in.  
  
Emma and Jesse raised the eyes of their breakfast to greet him, and he contented himself with a weak growl.  
  
- You look terrible, Jesse taunted.  
  
- Bad night? Emma asked, really worried.  
  
- You could say that, he answered evasively, sitting down at the table and taking his ritual cup of coffee.  
  
The young telempath understood that he did not wish to speak about it and did not insist. However when five minutes later, Shalimar made her appearance, she did not fail to notice the quiver of her friend.  
  
- Hello everybody, greeted the newcomer with a cheerful tone.  
  
- Hello, Emma and Jesse responded in the same tone.  
  
Brennan did not answer, surprised at seeing her acting just like that. Had all this been only a dream? But noticing that her glance avoided him carefully he was sure that he had not dreamed the last night.  
  
- You're looking good! Noticed Jesse.  
  
- There's nothing like a small morning jog to set you up for the day, declared Shalimar.  
  
- How many kilometres?  
  
- Oh I stopped counting after one hour, she answered smiling.  
  
- Remind me never to run with you.  
  
Emma followed this exchange absently. Indeed her attention had more particularly been steered towards Brennan who seemed to have become sullen. She noticed that his gaze did not leave Shalimar as if he was looking for some sign.  
  
Shalimar for her part ignored Brennan magnificently. Avoiding taking her place at the table beside by him as she would normally, she contented with digging out an apple from the fruit bowl and went to the kitchen sink to run it under the water. Crunching on a mouthful she got ready to leave the room when she turned around suddenly.  
  
- Oh, Emma! I am sorry, but I can't go to the shopping center with you, after all. I had forgotten that I had to see Adam, she declared very spontaneously.  
  
- No problem, answered Emma. We'll go next time.  
  
When Shalimar had left, Emma wondered about her behavior. In spite of the cheerful and harmless tone of her friend, it seemed to her that it was all too staged. And forgetting? It was not in her habits!  
  
Brennan forced himself to stay sat for a moment longer before getting up and going out in his turn; he did not especially want to give the impression that he was rushing out behind Shalimar, even if that was exactly what he was doing.  
  
- Brennan is acting really strange this morning, noticed Jesse once he had left.  
  
- He's not the only one, answered Emma with elusively.  
  
Brennan was only a little way behind Shalimar, hoping to be able to catch up her in corridors to speak to her, but it seemed that his plan had backfired. He looked for her in the various rooms close to the kitchen and then eventually went to the gardens. In passing in front of the laboratory, he realised that she was there, but regrettably she was not alone: Adam was with her. Not really the best moment to approach her about the night's events!  
  
- Adam?  
  
The called raised his eyes from screen and turned around towards the fair young lady who had just entered noiselessly.  
  
- Shalimar, is something wrong? He asked, seeing her worried face.  
  
- It begins again, she countered, gravely.  
  
- What? He began.  
  
But seeing her vague glance, the blush of the cheeks and her small shy smile, he broke off.  
  
- Ah! He added seeming to understand. Did you... have you.?  
  
- No, she interrupted him. I managed to resume control just in time. But I thought I'd finished with this the last time. I learnt to master my powers, then why not this?  
  
- The fact that you managed to stop you before it was too late, shows the enormous progress you've made in this.  
  
- But?  
  
- But this cycle is registered in your genes whether you want it or not, and regrettably as all the big cats you cannot avoid it.  
  
- You mean that it will begin again?  
  
- I am afraid so.  
  
Shalimar sighed and Adam felt guilty by seeing her so distraught, she who usually was so strong.  
  
- Can you make anything? I mean, could there be a remedy, a treatment?  
  
- I am sorry, he answered, shaking his head.  
  
- But for cats, there is a pill, something like that, isn't there?  
  
- Shalimar, it is far from being so easy. Firstly because you are only half feline and because I do not know what consequences it could have on your body. And secondly because it is not advised. There are too many unwanted side effects.  
  
- But is there anything better for us to do?  
  
- I see only a single solution.  
  
- Which one?  
  
- It requires that you isolate yourself for a while.  
  
- Isolate me! Repeated Shalimar as if it was the most absurd thing that he could say to her.  
  
- I am sorry. But it is only for a few days, one week at the most, he consoled her.  
  
- They can't know about this. They are never to know, she said with a resigned air.  
  
- Don't worry, everything will be fine.  
  
- I wish I could be so sure.  
  
- You just have just to avoid remaining alone with Brennan.  
  
- How do you know that it was Brennan? She asked in surprise that he guessed.  
  
- There are things that a father just knows!  
  
This last remark finished embarrassing the young lady who went to snuggle up in Adam's protective arms. He rested a reassuring hand on her hair and placed a paternal kiss on her forehead.  
  
- It's no more than a bad moment. it will pass and I'm sure you'll get through this marvelously as usual..., he assured her.  
  
- Thank you, she murmured before leaving.  
  
When she left the laboratory Shalimar was far from being confident, but as Adam had so firmly pointed out, if she had known how to resist first time then why not still? She was not going to let a simple primary instinct spoil her life.  
  
The only true problem was going to be avoiding Brennan for a week.  
  
X X X  
  
Je vois ma femme en esprit ; son regard, I see my wife in spirit; her glance, Comme le tien, aimable bête, As yours, pleasant beast, Profond et froid, coupe et fend comme un dard, Deep and cold, cutting and splits as a sting,  
  
C. Baudelaire _ Les Fleurs du Mal _ XXXVI Le Chat C Baudelaire _ The Flowers of the Evil _ XXXVI The Cat  
  
Brennan knocked but obtained no answer. He knew that Shalimar was there because he had seen her entering a little earlier and lately she had been isolating herself regularly in her room, not that it had surprised him. He knocked again. As he did not still obtain answer he decided to enter.  
  
- Shalimar? He asked.  
  
Shalimar trembled. It had seemed to her to hear a noise. Standing up she reached out towards the towel, but she didn't have a chance to seize it, because the door of the bathroom opened. Instinctively she dived back into the water, letting the froth cover her body.  
  
- Brennan? She wondered, while crossing her hands over her breast.  
  
- Shalimar, we have to speak to each other! He declared immediately without apologizing for his raid into her bathroom.  
  
- You do not believe that the moment is, how to say: badly suited, she answered sarcastically.  
  
- Shal you have been avoiding me for four days. So no, I do not believe that the moment is badly suited!  
  
- Very well, will you give me a towel, she asked, holding out her hand towards him.  
  
- No, he answered unblinkingly  
  
- No? She wondered.  
  
- No, he repeated casually.  
  
While she threw him a furious glance he justified :  
  
- We both know quite well that if you get out of this bathtub you are going to go away and avoid me again. So I'm not going to let you out of this room without an explanation on your part.  
  
- I see, Shalimar resigned herself.  
  
An age passed before the young lady decided to continue.  
  
- It's true, you have the right to an explanation, she announced finally.  
  
There was a new silence then she sighed and shook her head, avoiding looking at Brennan.  
  
- Oh my god! It is. it is not easy, murmured Shalimar.  
  
Brennan got closer to the bathtub and knelt down at her side. He put his hand on her shoulder in an encouraging gesture. Shalimar continued to avoid his eyes and eventually took a big breath.  
  
- I am . I do not believe that there are any other words to say it. Finally, in brief, I am . I am in heat.  
  
- It is terribly annoying, she added hurriedly. It is because of my feline DNA. I thought I had finished with that when adam helped me to understand and control my mutant power, but apparently that wasn't completely the case.  
  
- You mean that .  
  
- That if you haven't seen me a lot these last days it is simply because there is no possible treatment and because I have to wait for the as long as it takes. It is normally a week at the most according to Adam.  
  
- Then what took place in my room other night .  
  
- It was only a simple animal drive, nothing else.  
  
While saying it Shalimar had turned her head to avoid meeting Brennan's gaze. She had moreover pronounced these words with so little conviction that she had difficulty in being persuaded of it herself.  
  
- Shalimar, look at me, he ordered while taking the face of the young lady in his hand to force her to turn to him.  
  
She supports him glance one moment before closing eyes. Her breath became faster, less regular. A heat wave submerged her body. She took in a deep breath, conscious that it would soon be too late.  
  
- Brennan you have to go away now, she murmured.  
  
- Shalimar, what's wrong? He worried, seeing that she kept her eyes shut.  
  
She reopened eyes and a yellow light crossed the retina. Abruptly she lifted herself up and wrapped her arms around Brennan's neck, pulling him towards her by kissing him. Destabilised, he plunged head first into the bathtub. Shalimar took advantage of this to tighten her embrace around his body, her hands flattening themselves across his back. Brennan tried in vain to release himself, but the legs of the young lady had closed on his.  
  
- Shal? He called up between kisses.  
  
But the young lady ignored him. Her hands ran across his torso, catching at his T-shirt which she tore at furiously. Brennan, not being able to resist much longer Shalimar's caresses and kisses, answered her with heat. His hands ran across her bare body, lingering over her breast. Shalimar's nails sank into his back and scratched him. She shivered with desire.  
  
Brennan, in spite of the fact that he was totally soaked, felt a strong electric current run through its body. However her was ready to swear that it did not come from the powers of New Mutants, but only Shalimar's hands. Suddenly he felt a change in the behavior of the young lady. Her body stiffened. He turned to observe her: her glance was empty. She pushed him away violently and hurried to get out of the bathtub as if suddenly the water had become boiling. She wound herself in a towel and did not move any more.  
  
- Shalimar? Interrogated a worried Brennan while he got out of the bathtub himself.  
  
- Go out of here!  
  
Her voice was as cold and hard that the stone floor of the bathroom on which he drained.  
  
- Shalimar? Repeated Brennan saddened by the hurtful tone of the young lady.  
  
- Brennan please go!  
  
This time her voice trembled, as if it held a sob. He wanted to comfort her and approached, but Shalimar moved away from him.  
  
- Do not touch me, she murmured. I would not like to hurt you.  
  
Conscious that he could do nothing to help her, Brennan consented to go out of the room. After a last glance in the direction of the young lady he closed the door of the bathroom and left her room.  
  
One time only Shalimar allowed herself to slide to the ground and curled up on the cold stone floor. She allowed herself then to cry.  
  
X X X  
  
Et des pieds jusques à la tête, And feet to the head, Un air subtil, un dangereux parfum A subtle air, a dangerous perfume Nagent autour de son corps brun. Swim around her brown body.  
  
C. Baudelaire _ Les Fleurs du Mal _ XXXVI Le Chat C Baudelaire _ The Flowers of the Evil _ XXXVI The Cat  
  
- Adam, you have to do something! Declared Shalimar, storming into the laboratory.  
  
- Shalimar what is it?  
  
- I'm not getting there! You have to help me. I can't do this any more, she quickly said as she took a seat in the armchair.  
  
- Shal, begin by calming yourself and explain to me what the problem is?  
  
- What the problem is? Repeated the astounded young lady. It's that I can't control myself any more. These animal hormones are going to eventually make me crazy. You have to stop this at once.  
  
- Shalimar you know very well that I cannot.  
  
- I don't care about side effects, I just want you to free me of this.  
  
- Shal, even if I wanted to, I could not. It is too late. Usually the treatment must be administered in the two days which follow the appearance of the first symptoms; after this delay it would be ineffective, he explained calmly.  
  
- At night I wake up sweaty. In the daytime I stay in my room for as long as I can to escape the questions of Emma and Jesse. I can't even avoid Brennan any more, Shalimar listed more calmly.  
  
Adam remained silent, not knowing what to say to her to raise her morale.  
  
- I think that I have to go away, to leave the sanctuary as long as it will last, she declared suddenly.  
  
- I would prefer not. It is not safe for you to remain alone.  
  
- But I could go to one of our safe houses. Lock me in double turn, until it is finished.  
  
- Shalimar, it won't stay in you more than three days! You have to stand firm, I am sure that you can get there.  
  
- I do not know, she sighed. I could ignore it if I had control of myself again. This afternoon I had to admit everything to Brennan.  
  
- How did he react?  
  
- You mean before or after I jumped him? She asked, sarcastically.  
  
- Shalimar, I know that this situation is not easy, and I understand your frustration, but it will not return for a very long time, courage. You have to resist!  
  
- I'm not finished taking cold showers, Shalimar resigned himself.  
  
The days which followed were a true trial for the young lady. Indeed every time she found herself in the same room as Brennan, besides a deep physical attraction, she also had to face an increasing embarrassment.  
  
Just as the first time Emma had been able to feel the illness between her two friends, Shalimar had set to lock herself into her room to avoid her questions, or the possibility that her feelings could betray her to the young telempath.  
  
But in the morning of the third day, when Shalimar opened eyes and threw a glance at the alarm clock, she was surprised to discover that it was about 11:30! Never had she got up so late!  
  
Adam was hardly surprised seeing Shalimar entering the laboratory because these last days she regularly came to see him so that he could examine her. Curiously this daily diagnosis seemed to reassure her, to help her to hold out.  
  
- Settle down, so I can prepare the scan, he announced.  
  
When she did not move he worried.  
  
- Shal, is there something wrong?  
  
- On the contrary, she replied. I believe that it has finally ended! I feel completely well. No dreams, no frustration!  
  
- Very well, I can verify it at once if you want.  
  
Shalimar settled down finally in the armchair and Adam began the scanner. When the computer showed the results, he was able to confirm that everything was again normal. With a deep reassurance Shalimar thanked him and left the laboratory.  
  
Shalimar paced corridors with a feeling of freedom. A strange euphoria invaded her, as if rediscovering this place for the first time for days. Suddenly an authoritarian need led her up to a door. She knocked and waited for an answer which did not come. She knocked again but not receiving any response she decided to enter.  
  
- Brennan? She called out slowly.  
  
He appeared some seconds later, stepping out of the bathroom. He had apparently just taken a shower, his hair was still wet and he wore only simple trousers of black leather and held in his hand a T-shirt of the same colour that he hadn't had time to put on.  
  
- Shal!? He wondered at her presence.  
  
The young lady had difficulty in diverting her glance from her muscular chest, and held, with effort, a murmur of appreciation. If Adam had not given her the confirmation that everything had become normal again, she would have been able to doubt it in her reaction. Indeed she felt the heat rising to her face, her breathing deepen, the beating of her heart to accelerate. She repressed a carnivorous smile and made blank face to hide her confusion.  
  
- Excuse me I did not want to disturb you. You did not answer so I came in, she began nervously.  
  
- You did the right thing, he interrupted her. I was in the bathroom, I had not heard you.  
  
- I wished to speak to you but if you prefer I can return later.  
  
- No, no, please stay, he stopped her as she already at the door. You want to sit down? He added.  
  
Shalimar took a seat on the bed and Brennan quickly put on his T-shirt, making the muscles of his chest ripple, which she did not fail to admire. He sat down in his turn in front of her, having cleared the only chair of the room of the pile of clothes which hid it.  
  
- I have come to apologize for my behavior. All this week, I was not really myself and I am aware that for you that was pretty obvious. You know about what took place in your room or in my bathroom, I was anxious to say that everything was my fault and I know that you did not want but .  
  
- Shalimar, he interrupted her. We are both adults and aware of our acts. You are on no account the only one responsible.  
  
- Yes but we can say that I did not leave you many other choices, she clarified.  
  
- As I have just said to it to you, and as you do not seem to have understood, I was perfectly capable of choosing.  
  
- I know that I can be very persuasive when I wish it, she continued without listening to him, or more exactly preferring not to hear what he had to add.  
  
- Shal? He called her. Let me prove to you what I'm saying.  
  
As she raised the head, she realised that he had got up and approached. He bent towards her and kissed her gently. If the surprise paralyzed her at the beginning, she was not long to react in wrapping her arms around his neck as she pulled him towards her. Their kiss became passionate, their gestures became quickly uncontrollable and they were allowed to slide bit by bit onto the bed.  
  
- Shal, murmured Brennan between two kisses. It might be preferable to wait. You know: for the time when you become again yourself.  
  
- Then it is useless to wait much longer, she answered him with a mischievous air. Because you see I was never as much myself as at this moment.  
  
- You mean that has ended?  
  
- For now, she granted before kissing him again.  
  
X X X  
  
Viens mon beau chat, sur mon c?ur amoureux ; Come my beautiful cat, on my loving heart; Retiens les griffes de ta patte, Hold the claws of your paw, Et laisse-moi plonger dans tes beaux yeux, And let me plunge into your beautiful eyes, Mêlés de métal et d'agate. Mixed by metal and by agate.  
  
Lorsque mes doigts caressent à loisir When my fingers caress at leisure Ta tête et ton dos élastique, Your head and your elasticated back, Et que ma main s'enivre du plaisir And what my hand gets drunk on the pleasure De palper ton corps électrique, To feel your electric body,  
  
Je vois ma femme en esprit ; son regard, I see my wife in spirit; her glance, Comme le tien, aimable bête, As yours, pleasant beast, Profond et froid, coupe et fend comme un dard, Deep and cold, cutting and splits as a sting,  
  
Et des pieds jusques à la tête, And feet to the head, Un air subtil, un dangereux parfum A subtle air, a dangerous perfume Nagent autour de son corps brun. Swim around her brown body.  
  
C. Baudelaire _ Les Fleurs du Mal _ XXXVI Le Chat C Baudelaire _ The Flowers of the Evil _ XXXVI The Cat 


	2. MerciThanks

Un grand Merci à Ferae Naturae pour avoir prit le temps de corrigée ma fic.  
  
A big Thank you for Ferae Naturae to have took the time of corrected my fic. 


End file.
